#5: “Let’s talk about it later.” Just be honest: your mind has swept her words under the mental rug and you’re looking for a way out. You don’t want to talk about it at all – ever again. You just don’t want to deal with the situation. So, this is the last, desperate resort to get out of the dragging conversation. Just deal with it now and get it over with. Then, after you think you’ve dealt with it, prepare yourself for her to bring up the issue again… years later – repeatedly.
#4: “Sorry, I didn’t get your text.” The facts are you more than likely got the text, call, or email and just plain forgot about it. Or, you got it and just didn’t want to deal with it. Don’t tell her: “I didn’t get your message.” She’s going to wonder: “He gets all my other messages, so why not this one?” Just be honest with her. Or, she’ll see right through it – just like she can see right through that t-shirt you’ve been hanging onto since high school.
#3: “You look fine.” You’re ready to go out and she asks you that dreaded question: “Does this dress make me look fat?” She might also ask: “Does this make my butt look big?” First, you must never ever hesitate when answering this question. Second, the answer must always be “no.” It may not be that she is asking a “fat” question. She could also be asking about her overall appearance. It looks great, right? Except for that one thing: the way she did her makeup, a newer hairstyle, or that one dress you’re not a huge fan of. Shove that nagging small detail down, bro. Say something about that one, small thing and it’s time for an inquisition.
#2: “No, I wasn’t looking.” I pity the dude who is asked the “were you looking” question. This is a no-win situation. If you say “no,” then you’re going to get accused of lying. If you say yes, you’ve just opened yourself to a long sermon, brother. But, let’s just get one thing straight – you were looking.
#1: “The game’s almost over.” We all know the last five minutes of the game take the longest. So fellas, stop playing this card. She knows when you’re lying.
BONUS: “I understand.” No, no you don’t. And, you never will.