Dave and Jimmy always make fun of me for how much I love food. And I truly do. Nothing makes me happier than hearing that food has been dropped off at the station. Who wouldn't agree with that though?!
Sadly, though, there was a time when I had nothing going on in my life except sitting at home being a hermit (I blame my introversion). While scrolling through the depths of my Instagram page, I found that during that time I must have REALLY had nothing to do other than post pictures of food. And they weren't even good ones. So now it's time I address these embarrassing photos that I thought were okay at the time, even though they totally werent.
But before we get to that, here's a picture involving food that I don't regret yet and that doesn't even need explanation:
You're gonna have to roast me a lot for me to regret posting that one, tbh.
But I digress. Let's get to the embarrassments of my Instagram page:
First one: this sad quesadilla. I can still taste it for some reason, even though it was consumed four years ago. It was really good, I'll be honest with you. But the whole point of posting a food picture on Instagram is to show how beautiful your food is at the moment. And this quesadilla just wasn't. No matter how good it may have tasted at the time, nobody deserved to see this Sad Quesadilla on their feeds. To all who were offended, I am sorry.
Gah. This one makes me cringe because my face is in it so I can't even hide. Look how proud I was of having a sandwich in my hand! But the sandwich didn't even look good. Check out that bread. That sliver of turkey. You can't even tell if there's any flavor to this thing! And yet there's my happy face, confident that you wanted to see this Sad Sandwich as much as I wanted to eat it. Sigh. I know the truth now.
Okay, this isn't horrific. It's not the worst thing I've seen in the world. But the problem is...it was frozen. I didn't even make this dish. I probably put it in the microwave and let electricity do its thing. And it may have tasted okay (I don't remember it fondly, though) but nothing can take away the fact that I posted a frozen meal on my Instagram. Why, 2013 Ashley? Why?
Earl of Sandwich is one of my favorite places to stop when I'm at Downtown Disney in Orlando. I mean, they really do make a tasty sandwich. But do they make a photogenic one? I can't exactly say that. This looks like I threw baby food on some bread and thought it looked like art so I photographed it. Why did I think this was an okay post? Why did it get 5 likes? We may never know for sure.
And now for this thing. This literal spoonful of froyo. If you're going to post a cup of frozen yogurt, it should at least be a normal size or have enough froyo to fill the cup and make it look appetizing. This looks like a sad treat. A small taste of what could have been. And I am smh at it in every way. It definitely deserved the zero likes it got.
So there you have it: a sad list of sad photos of sad foods. I'm glad I have at least part of a life now and a cat that I can post on Instagram instead of these depressing excuses for meals. If you have anything better or anything worse to send my way, slide into the DMs. @ashsheree